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retailmonsters:

The greatest thing to me is beating the customer to their own joke.

*Item won’t scan* Customer: Must be-
Me: Looks like it doesn’t want to go home with you!

*Card won’t read* Customer: Looks like I brok-
Me: Oh, dang card reader! It’s been doing this all day! Only liked a few people so far,…

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server-life:

I’m feeling very diet coke, too. Thanks for asking, asshole.

server-life:

I’m feeling very diet coke, too. Thanks for asking, asshole.

(via theannoyedserver)

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restaurant-rants:

NO!
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WHEN I HAVE NO INTENTION OF GOING OUT AFTER WORK BUT THEN I GET CUT EARLY

iamaserver:

I’M JUST LIKE:

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(via justanotherhostess)

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pleasefireme:

Please fire me. My customers dress their dogs up in pajamas.

pleasefireme:

Please fire me. My customers dress their dogs up in pajamas.

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Waiting for the guest to come in on a slow night

…or a slow month.  September is the worst.

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whywehateyou:

We hate you because you come into a nearly empty restaurant ten minutes before close and jokingly say, “Where is everybody?” They’re at home not being assholes.

(via justanotherhostess)

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seconddoorsweet:

customer: “You guys should have more parking here.”

me: “Yeah I’ll get right fucking on that.”

(via somanybadcustomers)

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lessthanpumped:

I went to a theme park this summer and a woman told the teen boy behind the window “just so you know, your little microphone isn’t working” so he grabs it and goes “well, ma’am, that’s because I’m not speaking into it” 

THE AMOUNT OF SASS HE USED OH MY GOD

(via justanotherhostess)

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fffcuk:

today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore

(via emmadeee)